Online Health Advocacy for Family/Caregivers in BC
Serving online therapy to clients throughout British Columbia
You Can Love Someone Deeply and Still Feel Worn Down by Advocacy
When you’re advocating for a loved one, you might be feeling:
Helpless and heartbroken, watching someone you love suffer while feeling unable to fix it
Overwhelmed by the health care system, unsure who to call, what to ask, or how to push things forward
Constantly “on alert,” afraid something will be missed if you don’t stay vigilant
Emotionally exhausted, juggling appointments, paperwork, and decisions on top of your own life
Afraid of being seen as “pushy” or difficult when you’re simply trying to protect your loved one
Confused by medical language and conflicting opinions, unsure what information truly matters
Caught between roles, trying to be both a supportive loved one and an effective advocate
Guilty for needing breaks, even though caregiving has become all-consuming
Angry or resentful at the system, yet worried that expressing frustration could impact care
Isolated, because others don’t see the invisible labour you’re carrying
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, uncertain, or exhausted, it may help to have someone beside you who understands the system and the emotional weight of advocacy.
Assertive vs. Aggressive: Why it Matters
It’s one thing for the fight-or-flight response to kick in when your own survival is on the line, but when it’s someone you love’s life on the line, fight or flight has nothing on a mama or papa bear mode.
As such, it can be even more difficult to focus on effective communication when you are advocating for someone you love. Maybe they’re in tremendous pain, maybe they’re dealing with adverse side effects, stress, or sleep deprivation—and you’re on deck. Either way, learning to communicate effectively is paramount to being helpful.
We like to think we can stay calm in a crisis, that we won’t be the one to blow a gasket, but emotions often have a different idea. Sometimes, you don’t really know how you’re going to react until you’re in it.
Believe it or not, simply knowing this is a possibility—regardless of the plan—is half the battle when it comes to communicating effectively on someone’s behalf, or alongside them (depending on how they communicate their needs).
Having awareness of when emotions are taking over and you may be reacting more aggressively than you’d like can be your cue to remind yourself: “Okay, we knew this could happen, and it’s a natural reaction. This is a good time to use tools to ground so we can better navigate these circumstances.”
Learning Health Advocacy As A Family Member Or Caregiver Can Improve The Way You Help Your Loved One - While Keeping Yourself Healthy, As Well
I know it’s not always easy to take the first step, especially when you feel like you should be prioritizing your loved one’s health care first. In fact, there are so many different ideas about what it looks like to support someone navigating the health care system.
You may be wondering if you’re allowed to seek support for yourself while supporting someone else. Believe me when I say: the better supported you are, the more capable you’ll be of supporting your loved one through the health care system.
In therapy, I take time to understand what it looks like to support your loved one navigating the health care system and the impact it has on your life. I look at all aspects of your life that may be contributing to struggles advocating for them—or even for yourself—within the health care system, so we can identify the tools and get the results you need.
At Counselling & Health Advocacy by Jenna Reed-Côté, I help caregivers and family members:
develop tools to advocate with confidence
recognize what works for them—and what doesn’t
find their voice without guilt or fear
navigate complex medical situations with more clarity and steadiness
You don’t have to do this alone—and you don’t have to figure it out by trial and error.
Common Questions
Is learning to advocate for my health really a worthwhile investment when my loved one has way more health care needs than I do?
First, great question and you are definitely not the first person to worry about that. If you have ever been on a plane, you have most likely heard “Always secure your own mask before assisting another person,”? At first, I’ll admit, I thought that was so selfish to be telling people, but as time went on, I realized that you can’t help someone in a meaningful way if you, yourself, are struggling. I truly believe that the more you can reinforce making sure your needs are met, the more you can support a loved one.
If I am a “professional patient” and someone I love is gearing up on their own health care journey, I’ll be the perfect person to support and advocate for them, I don’t need your help, right?
First of all, I hear you! Let me tell you, though, you may think you’ll know how to navigate this process because you’ve been through it, but, from experience, it was unlike anything I ever imagined when I was in your shoes. I was primed and confident to be that “perfect” person to help and then, everything went sideways. I was a mama bear and really struggled staying grounded and calm. It was SO different being in the waiting room and not in the operating room! I have never had a lump form in my throat quite like the one I got when I heard them in pain in recovery. I felt powerless in a whole new way. So, that’s all to say, it wouldn’t hurt to get support as the person supporting someone else navigating the health care system. It really is a whole new discipline to master.
What if I make a mistake as I learn how to advocate with/for my loved one?
Guess what, you probably will, or at least you’ll feel like it. You’re human. Try and keep in mind that all you can do is try your best and listen to your loved one about what they need from you. Be willing to hear what they want their goals to be, even if you disagree, because by keeping the lines of communication and respect open, you can get closer to each other and learn where the other is coming from.
About Counselling & Health Advocacy by Jenna Reed-Côté
Hello! I’m Jenna Reed-Côté, of Counselling & Health Advocacy by Jenna Reed-Côté (RSW, MSW), and I became a therapist to be one of the helping professionals I needed growing up with chronic health issues.
Navigating life and the healthcare system can feel overwhelming. Emotions pop up, seemingly counterproductive to what you're trying to do.
My goal is to create a calm space to meet you where you're at, in any given session. Therapy can feel daunting, especially when you've rarely felt welcome to collaborate in your own healthcare…maybe you’ve even felt like a piece of meat? We’ll work together to help you reclaim your power.
I specialize in supporting clients with chronic illnesses. I can help you feel like the expert on you and find your voice. I can provide you with tools tailored to your unique needs, be it communication or advocacy.
Outside of work:
I have been an ambassador for the Rick Hansen Foundation since 2017.
I give presentations (largely) to kids and communities across Canada, educating the importance of accessibility and inclusivity. Furthermore, we talk about the steps they can be taking to be more inclusive of people with disabilities.
In 2021, I led the Vancouver team participating in the largest survey ever conducted on accessibility for Canada by AccessNow.
Frequently Asked Questions
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Before booking a session, please make sure that your health benefits cover services provided by a registered social worker (which I am).
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Ontario and British Columbia, Canada.
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I only provide virtual services.
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An hour-long session is $135.
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I have my Master of Social Work degree from Dalhousie University (2018) and my Bachelor of Social Work degree from University of Victoria (2012).
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Disability-affirming therapy has a therapist working with a client with a disability, without the focus on the condition. The goal is to empower the client based on their strengths, while taking a holistic approach, recognizing the body, the mind and the spirit work together.
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If you have navigated the healthcare system, you know it’s not easy!
Whether you’re wondering if you’re allowed to speak up, how you’re supposed to manage your symptoms or medication, the anxiety of preparing for appointments or procedures/surgery - not only are you not alone, you are the EXPERT on you!
I can help you process what can be an overwhelming process - mind, body and spirit - how to find your voice to communicate with your healthcare team, family and friends and find ways to reframe and get creative to cope.
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I find it important to acknowledge that your family and even close friends can also “have” your diagnosis.
How? Why? They are on this journey with you but are experiencing it from a different vantage point. If you are having surgery, your family and friends, who are there supporting you, are also watching you navigate it and - it ain’t easy to watch someone you love going through pain.
Your support system also needs support, though it may look a little (or a lot) different. They more they can get their own unique support, the better able they can be to support you.